I Hate You
by Chante-chan
Summary: Kagome was a good girl. She got good grades, worked, tried. How is it he can ruin everything?
1. Chapter 1

You suck. I hate you.

With your perfect hair and perfect grace and perfect calm demeanor. I hate you more and more every day. Your friends sit around you, surround you with their support. You won't let anyone else that close to you. The slots for your friends have long since been filled. But, that doesn't mean that I can help but be envious. You are that guy, the one who everyone wants to be – that every girl wants to be with.

I hate you because you hate me. I know you do, because of the way you make my life a living hell. You are perhaps the biggest douche-bag I've ever known. You make me hate you more than you know. If you'd let me, we could have been best friends. Maybe more, because I'm so attracted to you that every time you look at me my heart stops.

I sit behind you in all of your classes. Not because I'm stalking you but because our professors think we'd be great together. Academically, of course. I watch as she slips a note into your hand, her lips painted ruby red. No – not ruby red – it's too sanguine for that. You smirk at her, and I feel a tingle run up my spine.

I hate your smirk – what? Are you too good to have a genuine smile?

You pause, your back stiff. Everything stops – my heart, my breath, my existence as you turn your head. I duck mine before we can make eye contact.

I shift uncomfortably, my eyes drawn back to you even though I know you can feel my eyes. I hate school, too. I hate having to be around you. But even when I leave, I can't escape you – damn you.

You walk the same way I do, through the courtyard of our school, past the statue in memoriam of that one girl whose name no one remembers. I have to go that way to catch the train. You go that way so you can suck the face off of your girlfriend. Once, I remember seeing you get more than a kiss. The way that you looked at me – I still remember – like you didn't care. Didn't care that I saw you, with her between your legs. You leaned against the statue so that no one would see you. Who goes behind the school after hours? Everyone else is worried about getting home.

Well, besides me – the train takes me to work, and I can't be late. I still wonder if you knew that I'd be coming that way. I still wonder if you did it on purpose. Your arms were folded, hands cushioning your head as she slurped and sucked at your groin. Your half-mast eyes looked at me curiously.

They said "I don't care if you watch"

"You see her? She's so lucky"

"See how much she's enjoying herself?"

"Don't you wish you were the one on your knees? My hand fisted in your hair as you service me?"

"Aren't you jealous?"

I remember stopping, a deer caught in head lights. I remember her eyes on me too – threatening pain, unless, of course, you wanted me to join.

I scurried past, and your eyes followed me for I don't know how long. When I finally had the courage to turn my head towards you, your focus was back on her.

On her boobs – she was one of those early bloomers.

On her face – her waiting mouth open as if in worship.

On her hair – her once neat up-do undone in the heat of your moment.

Your eyes met mine as you reached absolution –the smug smirk on your face saying more then you ever would to me.

"Do you desire to be my little whore that badly?"

"Higurashi – I was under the impression that you were a good little girl,"

I still lay in bed sometimes, seeing that look on your face over and over. I usually tremble under the covers; refusing to touch myself for fear that the look in your eyes will fade from my memory if I give myself any relief.

My façade is so hard to keep up. It only got worse when you broke up with her. Without her, we almost always get stuck in groups together. I sometimes feel things. Sometimes, I feel like you're still waiting for me to join in.

Sometimes, I regret that I didn't.


	2. Chapter 2

I watch you.

I watch you a lot.

You are such a dick-head. I can still hear everyone kissing your ass.

The professors – "Sesshomaru, seems you are right. I did have an error!"

The students – "Woo! Sesshomaru for President!"

Your fan-club – "We love you, Sesshomaru!"

It makes me sick. But you irritate me even more than they do. Want to know why? Because you have the nerve to hate it too.

I watched the disdain on your face when a girl you've never bothered to acknowledge throws herself at your feet. I hear you sigh with annoyance as the professors praise you. And, we both know for a fact that at least half of your "friends," are only riding your coat-tails, trying to collect the scraps you toss aside.

I also know that you watch me when we're in gym. I know that you know that I can't help but twitch under your intent gaze. I couldn't ignore that intense stare if I tried.

I also know with absolute certainty that you judge me when I finally finish my daily mile, flopping onto the grass just outside of the track. I hate the fact that I am either last or winded - while you are of the first to finish. Jerk.

I also know your favorite thing to do is sit and think. Once, I caught you behind the school – not with Kagura or anything. You were laying in the grass, just to the side of the steps I'd have to walk on.

Or not – but I'd look like a coward if I avoided the steps.

Hell, if I am being honest with myself, that was the primary reason I still took the shortcut behind the school to get to the train. That, and despite myself, I wanted to catch you with her again.

I wanted to be able to see you like that. It amazed me; even though you were in the throes of pleasure, not a single muscle twitched if you didn't want it to. There were no sounds that you made. Even as she swallowed all that you gave her, you only spared a smirk in my direction. You were watching me, and I thought I was watching you.

I ducked my head as I passed you, wanting to avoid the impending conversation. You always try these games when I'm alone.

Fuck you.

My heart thundered in my ears as you cleared your throat and I stop - damning you to the lowest layer of hell. I turned my head to the side, not quite able to meet your eyes. It doesn't matter, I can feel your smirk as you look at me. Your presence is too loud, even the barest nuance burns into my skin, my eyes didn't need to see it to be marked.

My insecurities rear their ugly heads – is my chest too small? Does my hair look alright? Am I too fat? Too thin? My fingers twitch at my side as I stamp down the urge to fuss with my hair or my jacket or to move my books from my one arm to in front of my stomach – or to cover my chest? Which one?

You smirk at me again, and I feel my cheeks flame with humiliation.

"Look at me, girl" I wanted to ignore you, but instead I slowly pulled my eyes up from the soles of your name-brand shoes to look into your eyes. Do you know that when you look at someone, you make them feel like an insect? Like you could squish them with the littlest of effort, but you don't. It must be because you enjoy torturing the bugs more. You're sadistic like that.

After what felt like hours but was likely less than a minute of full on eye contact, I clear my throat and drop my gaze. This is uncomfortable. I hoped for the both of us.

"What is it that you wanted, Sesshomaru?" I say, forcing anger and sarcasm into my voice – otherwise I wouldn't have been able to live with how that sentence sounded.

A full minute later your smirk grows. On anyone else I would have called it a smile.

"Did you forget?" I hate how you talk. Just say what you mean!

"I don't have time for your games, Sesshomaru. What do you want?" I hoped the impatience in my voice covered the wavering. Why can you do this to me?

"We have an assignment to do."

How could I have forgotten? Shit. I glance down at my watch. I'm going to miss my train, and there was no way my manager would let me live it down.

"Sesshomaru, can we talk about this later? I have to go."

"We cannot. It is due on Monday. Today is Friday. I would rather not have to see you during my weekend."

I sigh, and pinch the bridge of my nose. There couldn't be a more asinine jerk on the face of the planet.

"You're going to get me fired! Look, just… just –"

I reach into my bag, pulling out a pen and paper. After scribbling down my home phone and email and home address, I shoved it into your hand. There is no time for me to play these games with you.

"Call me or something. I have to go. Like, five minutes ago."

I walk away,quietly fuming.

God, I love watching you.

Asshole.


	3. Chapter 3

"I need a large, bone-dry, quad shot, half caf, cappuccino, four packets sweetener, two sugar, a shot of vanilla, hazelnut, caramel, one-half shot almond – extra cream, extra hot, extra room, chocolate and sugar-free caramel drizzle with chocolate bits."

You are the kind of person that _everyone_ dislikes, miss.

I smile and write down all of the specifics of your order on the side of the cup. I see you with your money in your hand before I have even finished calling back your order. I hold out my hand, still smiling as you throw it down on the counter. Deep breath. I pick up and deposit your five dollars. I hand you your change, watch as you eye the tip jar and saunter over to the other worker currently working on your sugary hell. The discreet nod I give the other barista tells him to use all decaf. Take that, lady. I sigh softly, before looking back at the other girl currently wiping down the tables.

It shocks me still how nasty some people can be for afternoon coffee. I work here because I like people, and yet there is always at least . My eyes follow Sango for a few moments, but I wait for a lull before I approach her.

"Sango, how's it going?" I laugh nervously, my eyes flicking from her eyes to stare between hers. I can't make eye contact anyway – she's looking at the table she's bussing.

"What do you want, Kagome?" She shifted to look at me, her eyes seeing right through my façade of friendly conversation. Dammit.

"Look, I need a favor-"

"Oh? Why, whatever for?" The knowing grin that sprouted on her face was unexpected.

"Could it be that guy that you always complain about? It's about time he asked you out!" She grinned at my blush that I couldn't stamp down in time.

"Actually, it's not like that, at all-"

"So you asked him out, huh? I knew you had a thing for the guy! I didn't know you could be so forward!" She laughed a bit, adjusting the sugar and milk containers, eyeing them before shifting them one more time, an eighth of an inch to the left.

If you'd let me finish a sentence you might know what's going on. "Look, the details are unimportant. I need a favor." I knew what to expect. I came ready to kiss ass and beg.

"I'm not giving you condoms – and I'm damn sure not going to give you advice in that area. Isn't this gonna be your first date?" I groaned, shaking my head as she moved around me.

"I don't need any damn condoms," I noticed an older lady looking at me strangely – oops, guess I said that too loudly. "I need you to cover my shift tomorrow. I have a project to work on that completely slipped my mind,"

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" She shook her head, false disappointment baiting me into responding. Why was she so hung up on that crazy idea?

"We are the same damn age! I'm two months older than you!" She sniggered, hiding it behind her hand as the chime sounded.

"We aren't through here." I whisper, pointing at her as I turn my attention to the bar.

My steps falter when I see who is waiting there for someone to take their order. I steel myself for this. Even at work, I can't be free from you. Did you know I worked here? Or is my luck just that horrible?

"Hello, sir, what can I get for you?" I give you my fake smile, waiting for the order. I ignore your smirk, not wishing to give you any extra attention.

"Hello, Ka-go-me. I need a large, quad shot Americano," I nod, writing your order down on your cup, avoiding the usual hearts or smiley faces that I add. You are the last person I would want to see those.

You lean against the counter, looking me up and down. I'm sure you noted the messy bun atop my head and the stain on my shirt caused by a laptop cord stretched across the café. You make me self-conscious the way you look at me. I really hate you for it.

"And I want you to make it." I nod, falsely peppy. Sooner done, sooner gone.

"Yes sir. Sango, come man the counter!" She winked as she passed me. Some friend she was.

I take a moment, making sure I keep my smile in place. Then, I make my way over to the espresso machine, pulling all four of your shots with careful precision. You strike me as the kind of person to nit-pick.

"So, since when do you work here?" You grinned at me, your eyes intent on my actions. Following me as I move.

"I've worked here since I was sixteen. So, the end of freshman year? Since when do you come here?" I grinned, and strained my voice into maintaining work-appropriate cheer.

"My favorite shop closed down a few days ago. There wasn't much interest in the area, I suppose." A second or two of silence passes, before the hot water goes in your cup. Capping it with a lid, I smile as I pass you your drink.

"I still expect that we work on the project. Tonight. When does your shift end?" Damn you. Do you know what it's like to stand on your feet all day? You look like you've never had to work a full day in your entire life. Why would you understand?

"Sesshomaru, I really can't. I don't even get off until 10." I really didn't want to beg you, but I would if it was absolutely necessary – which seems to be the case.

"Then I will be back for you at ten. I will drive you to your house – we can work there." You smile, lifting the cup to your mouth to take a sip. You reach into your pocket, pulling something out. Your hand motions for me to give you mine.

"Sesshomaru-!" I whine, not wanting to hold out my hand. Damn you.

You drop a twenty into it. A twenty dollar bill as a tip for a four dollar cup of coffee. That's like, five _hundred_ percent. Don't you know proper etiquette calls for around a dollar? Maybe fifty percent, if you're feeling generous? A gods forsaken quarter would have been acceptable. This? I don't know if I should be insulted, or grateful. There must be more to this overkill than I can understand.

"We will be finishing this project tonight, girl. Do not dally. I will be here by 10:05. Do not make me wait." He took another sip, ignoring every protest that sprung from my mouth as he walked to the door. Jackass.

Sango grins, sliding up beside me. The glare I give her should be frosty enough to freeze her to death. Unfortunately, she just grins at me.

"So that's the guy, right? He's so hot!" She giggles as I discreetly flip her the bird.

"Thanks, Sango. Thanks a lot. Forget you. I'll ask for the day off tomorrow." I was going home. Forget whatever Sesshomaru was talking about. I deserve sleep, dammit.

She giggles, taking the next order with a smile as I go to mop the floor.

Fuck her.

Fuck you.

Once I get back behind the bar, I make myself a triple shot cappuccino, dry. I felt I was going to need the caffeine.


	4. Chapter 4

I fumble with my most recent cup of coffee. I love working for some independent little shop, as my manager didn't care how much coffee I drank. I shifted from foot to foot, jiggling the keys in my hands. Closing sucked. But, on the bright side, it also meant that I could get one last cup before I ran to catch my train.

Well, on a normal day.

The blaring of a car horn behind me caused me to jump. Once I have a firm hold on my coffee cup without burning myself, I turn my head to glare at the jerk that was honking. Your smirk annoyed me. I turn my head, prepared to ignore your existence. I have a train to catch – there was no way you were going to stop me from going home and getting some sleep.

"Girl. Come here." You get out of your car, and stalk up to me. Damn your long legs. Damn my short ones.

Your fingers dug into my shoulder, and I couldn't help but stop. It was stop or get bruises, and I didn't want to be marked by you.

"Get in the car, Kagome" Your voice sends shivers down my spine. I hope you didn't notice.

"Don't make me repeat myself, girl" When did your mouth get that close to my ear? I fight the urge to yank myself away as you close the space between us. When you are so close that I can feel the heat radiating from your skin, I shift away, looking at my feet as I climb into the passenger seat. _Damn you._

I cross my arms petulantly, bracing my foot on the dash. I hope I left a smear of mud on it. It would serve you right.

What I didn't expect was for you to reach across me to get my seat belt. My skin prickles beneath my clothes where your arm brushed against me. I bet you did that on purpose. The engine hums lightly as you start the car, and before I have a chance to brace myself, you're speeding across the way. My fingers curl around the handle above my head, tightening after every turn that you make.

I'm going to die. I haven't even done anything with my life yet.

Before long, we skid to a stop in front of the steps that lead to my home.

_Oh. Shit._

"Look. There is no way in hell my mom is going to let you inside. You should just go home." I reach for the door handle, ready to make a hasty retreat. I yank on it, surprised when the door didn't budge. I fumble for a moment, looking for the switch. Before I find it, your hand covers mine.

"Look, Kagome. I am not going home. You can go on. I will be in in a minute. Where is your room?" I turn my head, deciding to ignore you. I feel the tip of your nose pressed against the curve of my neck. You breathe in. You exhale. I shiver, despite myself.

"Either you cooperate, or I will make your life a living hell" I swallow, keeping my eyes focused on a tree outside the window. You aren't already making my life hell? To think, you weren't even trying.

"My room is in the back, upstairs, to the left of the staircase." I roll my eyes as you reach past me and push the door open. I unbuckle myself, shoving your arm out of the way as I get out.

I take a big swig of my coffee, licking my lips afterwards to rid them of the foam.

Five minutes later, I'm at the door, reaching for my keys. Before I can find them, Souta is opening the door, grinning at me.

"You're here early, Kagome!" Shit. He motioned to the closet, telling me to put my shoes and jacket away.

"Yeah, you know. Boss sent me home 'cause we were slow." I focus on sounding tired and trying not to be suspicious. Shit. I completely forgot I don't normally get home until eleven.

"Shouldn't you be hitting the sack, mister?" I ask playfully, tickling him as I walk passed.

I walk into the kitchen, grabbing my plate from the microwave – after kissing my mother, of course.

I scarf down my food, legitimately hungry, but also worried about Sesshomaru. Was he going through my stuff? I put the plate in the sink, kissed my mother good-night, and scurried upstairs.

I hesitated before opening the door. I turned to close it behind me, and rested my forehead against the cool wood.

After you cleared your throat, I turn to look at you lounging in my bed. I click the lock shut, walking angrily over to you.

"I hate you" I sit at my desk, booting up my computer. After a few minutes, the screen is at the password page. I arch my body into an awkward position, trying to hide it from you. Knowing my luck, you'd find a way onto it and dig up some long forgotten dirt.

"Look, as long as we focus on the social hierarchy in the Yanomami culture, we can keep this short and sweet. We can cover other things like religion and their economy in about five minutes. I figure that if we divide it down the middle, this little meeting won't have to last long" I pull up a page, organizing a chart to show what you would have to cover, and what I would have to cover. I spend about five minutes dividing it down the middle, and print off the document. After handing it to you, I wait, patiently, my eyes intent on yours.

"Well?" I cross my arms, attempting to put my foot down. That all goes out the window when I instead propel myself in a circle, spinning wildly in the chair._ Fuck._

"What do you mean, well? We have accomplished nothing." You flick a lock of hair over your shoulder, and I roll my eyes.

"Go home" I move out of my chair, deciding that I would ignore you. I move to my closet, grabbing the next day's clothes. A few seconds later, I'm rummaging through my drawers, looking for my pajama bottoms and a tank top._ Fuck you._ I'm getting out of my work clothes.

I'm just about to head across the hall to the bathroom for a shower before you catch my arm and send me sprawling onto your lap. The blush is instantaneous. The memories flood back, the ones of you and Kagura, your tongue down her throat. Other things, down her throat. I struggle to sit up and get off of you, but instead your hands tighten around my arms, and you pull me closer.

Before I know what's going on, I'm straddling you, the clothes that were in my hands on the floor. Your nose is once again against my neck. I take a shaky breath, trying not to move.

"Sesshomaru, what are you doing?" I gasp when your tongue finds its way along the ridge of my ear.

"What's wrong, Ka-go-me?" Your fingers are digging into my side. I feel fingers at my waist. I feel the button on my pants come undone. The zipper slides down the short row of teeth. I'm trembling, and so very turned-on.

I close my eyes, not wanting you to know how very badly I ache. How my entire body throbs along with my heartbeat, and how I want nothing more than for your fingers to wander inside the pants you just undid.

"You make my life very hard, you know that, girl?" I feel you shift, my teeth closing around my lips to keep me silent. I suppose I don't just make your life hard.

"Answer me when I talk to you" Your fingers are moving again, only this time they're around my neck. You squeeze, and it's a good thing. I would have moaned if I could force a sound out.

Your hold goes lax, and your fingers skim down the front of my shirt. Your narrowly miss my nipples, and I barely hold in a whine. Then your hands close around my hips. They go up and up and up, bringing first my shirt, and then my bra, with them.

You can see.

_Dear God,_ you can see.

You exhale, and I can feel it in the tingling in my chest. Goosebumps.

"How often do you stare at me, Kagome?" Your breath skims across my heated skin. I tremble desperately. Stop looking at me.

"Do you still see me with Kagura, Kagome?" You shift your weight, and then mine. I feel the cool air against my thighs.

"Did you like the show, Kagome?" I'm shaking by this point, the only thing hiding me being my underwear. With all of my clothes pushed out of place, I feel more exposed than I would if I was naked.

"Are you wet for me, Kagome?" Your fingers push my underwear to the side. I arch against the one currently pressed between my lips. Oh, God.

You can feel it.

_No, don't touch there. You can't know._

"Ride it, Kagome." I feel your finger delve into me, and I can't help but rock against it.

Oh.

_God._

"Does that feel good, Kagome?" I hear a ripping noise. You ripped my underwear. I shudder as I buck against your fingers. I feel like your little whore.

_No, don't look._

"Do you know what you do to me?" Your hand takes mine, and I feel the heat of your skin through your pants. You urge me to undo your pants. Not a minute later, your phallus is staring at me. My mouth runs dry.

"Are you a virgin, Kagome?" I tremble, nodding without looking at you. Then I'm moving again.

My back is against the mattress. I'm staring at the ceiling. This is how I'm going to lose my virginity?

You take my thighs in your hands. They're splayed out wide. There is no way I can hide how much I want you. How much I want this.

I jump when I feel your breath against the slickness between my legs. What are you doing?

Your hand reaches up and covers my mouth. A good thing, because I wasn't prepared for the suction on my most private parts.

_God. God, help me._

In mere moments, I'm trembling and struggling for breath beyond your hand. My legs cramp. My toes curl.

I close my eyes and try to catch my breath. I didn't even notice you stood.

"Open your eyes, Kagome."

I weakly force them apart, looking up at you with your hand fisted around your length. Your eyes dare me to look away. I cannot force myself to.

It is a long time before you reach completion. You do it silently, much as you did with Kagura. There is only a single, faint shudder as you find your end, spilling your seed on my chilled skin, burning me.

But, your eyes.

_They're the sun._


End file.
